The Choice by Jill Krueger Wagner

Each year as the holidays approach we all have a choice to make. We can sink into sorrow as we recall former holidays and how much has changed. We can wallow in self-pity missing those who, in days gone by, made the season a joyful time. Or we can thank the good Lord that we have those memories. Many a person whose Christmas memories are laced with abuse or neglect would love to have the warm thoughts we possess.

It helps to recall that Jesus also made a choice. Before He was born as a baby to a poor couple and laid in a cold manger, He shared glory with the Father in Heaven (John 17:5). Can you imagine giving that up? Heaven is a place where there is no pain, no sorrow, and no sin. It’s a place of unity where love reigns and God’s will is always done (Matthew 6:10). Jesus is God (John 1:1,2, Hebrews 1:3, Colossians 2:9). The earth was created by Him and for Him (Colossians 1:16). Yet, He chose to come here to be born for the express purpose of saving mankind (Galatians 4:4-5). He took on the limitations of humanity (Philippians 2:7). At His arrest He could have called for twelve legions of angels to prevent his crucifixion but He chose not to do that (Matthew26:53). That was an unbelievable choice, done for you and me.

I think our response this Christmas season should be to choose to sing, “Yea, Lord, we greet thee, born this happy morning, Jesus to Thee be all glory given: Word of the Father, now in flesh appearing! O Come let us adore Him! O Come let us adore Him! O come let us adore Him – Christ the Lord.”

May the good Lord bless and keep you. May you find the “peace that passes understanding” and grow daily in the knowledge and love of Him whose nativity we celebrate.

 

What I Learned From the Worst Thing

 By Jill Krueger Wagner

When my son died two months after my mom, I thought it was the worst thing that could ever happen to me but a worse thing was coming. Todd died at home alone in Georgia with the air conditioning off during a hot spell. He wasn’t found for several days. His body was in bad shape and he couldn’t be positively identified. He hadn’t been to the dentist as an adult and the records from childhood had been destroyed two years before he died. He died in a small town in Georgia and his body was taken to Atlanta where they had a backup for autopsies in the coroner’s office. After some time, they sent the local police to our home to get a DNA sample to be able to identify Todd. FedEx lost the sample and the police had to come out again. This time the coroner from the country town Todd lived in had them send it to her and she actually drove the sample to Atlanta to guarantee it would get there. After all the delays Todd’s body wasn’t positively identified for three months and that was the worst thing.

There is no way to clear up an estate without a death certificate and when you don’t get one for three months that causes lots of complications. Vendors wouldn’t let me cancel services without the certificate but then wanted to charge his estate for those three months.

 The emotional toll wore on us more than anything but God was about to show us some eternal truths.

·       Having an established spiritual support system will get you through the most awful circumstances

·       Your fellow Christians will be a light in the dark places with just the right words to lift your tattered spirit and with Godly counsel on handling the delay

·       When your mind goes to the negative, God can give you a positive to counteract it

·       The Bible studies that you “just happen” to be doing will speak to your situation

·       The Lord will enable you to do tasks you never thought you could do

·       People working in country coroner’s offices have caring hearts

·       God will bring other Christians that you have never met to help with huge tasks

·       Others you’ve never met will bless you with words of praise for your child

·       An extended family reunion just “happened” to be planned & they poured out love on us

·       Sermons will uphold you with messages like, “Tomorrow is God’s responsibility. Trusting Him today is yours.”

·       A Rhett Walker concert planned months in advance is just the right thing to soothe our troubled hearts

·       When stress overwhelms me, God arranges to get me out of the situation

·       I’m to focus on God & who He is, not on the trials of life

·       Old friends reach out and nourish my soul

·       God gives wisdom and strength to not respond to attacks

·       An acronym I wrote years ago encourages me how to wait

o   Willingly

o   Accept

o   Immanuel’s

o   Timing

·       1 Peter 5:7-10 and Psalm 42:5 gives me steadfast resolve to fight through sadness

·       A reminder that Jesus is ALWAYS in my boat

·       Christian radio sermons, music, and listening to the Bible will raise my deflated soul

 

“you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.” Ps. 16:11

Difficult Relationship Checklist

 It's been several years since I posted this. Forgive me that it's all in CAPS!!!

DIFFICULT RELATIONSHIPS CHECKLIST

                                                     By Jill Krueger Wagner

PRAY:

            THAT GOD WILL ENABLE YOU TO LOVE YOUR DIFFICULT PERSON

            THAT YOUR LOVE FOR HIM/HER

                        IS PATIENT                           IS NOT EASILY ANGERED

                        IS KIND                                  KEEPS NO RECORD OF WRONGS

                        IS NOT ENVIOUS                 DOES NOT DELIGHT IN EVIL

                        IS NOT BOASTFUL              REJOICES WITH THE TRUTH

                        IS NOT PROUD                     ALWAYS PROTECTS

                        IS NOT RUDE                       ALWAYS TRUSTS

                        IS NOT SELF-SEEKING       ALWAYS HOPES

                                                                        ALWAYS PERSEVERES

            ASK GOD TO SHOW YOU IF YOU NEED TO APOLOGIZE TO YOUR D.R. FOR ANYTHING IN THE PAST?

            ASK GOD TO PURGE YOUR THOUGHT LIFE FROM THOUGHTS OF REVENGE AND NEGATIVE THOUGHTS TOWARDS OR ABOUT YOUR D.R.  ZECHARIAH 7:10b ROMANS 12:19

            ASK GOD TO REVEAL TO YOU WHY YOUR D.R. DOES THE THINGS THAT UPSET YOU AND HOW TO RESPOND TO SUCH REVELATIONS

            ASK GOD TO REVEAL TO YOU THE ROOT PROBLEM IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP AND WHAT TO DO REGARDING THAT REVELATION.

            ASK GOD TO SHOW YOU IF YOUR EXPECTATIONS OF THIS RELATIONSHIP ARE UNREASONABLE AND HOW TO AMEND THEM IF THAT IS THE CASE. ALSO ASK HOW TO GET LEGITIMATE NEEDS MET.

            ASK GOD TO SHOW YOU WHERE YOU NEED TO SET BOUNDARIES AGAINST YOUR D.R.

            ASK GOD TO STRENGTHEN YOU FOR BATTLE WITH YOUR D.R. WHEN HE/SHE OVERSTEPS THE BOUNDARIES YOU’VE SET. JOHN 18:19-23

            ASK GOD TO MAKE YOU “…QUICK TO LISTEN, SLOW TO SPEAK AND SLOW TO BECOME ANGRY, FOR MAN’S ANGER DOES NOT BRING ABOUT THE RIGHTEOUS LIVE THAT GOD DESIRES.” JAMES 1:19,20

            ASK GOD TO GIVE YOU “THE PEACE THAT PASSES ALL UNDERSTANDING” WHEN YOU MUST DEAL WITH YOUR D.R. PH. 4:7

            ASK GOD TO HELP YOU TO “KEEP A WATCH” ON YOUR MOUTH SO THAT YOU DO NOT GOSSIP ABOUT YOUR D.R.

            ASK GOD FOR A “BATTLE PLAN” BEFORE CONFLICT ARISES WITH YOUR D.R. THIS PLAN SHOULD REFLECT GOD’S UNCONDITIONAL LOVE FOR YOUR D.R. AND HIS DESIRE THAT YOU BOTH BE TREATED WITH THE DIGNITY YOU DESERVE.

            ASK GOD FOR A TRUSTWORTHY FRIEND TO PRAY WITH (BUT DO NOT REVEAL DETAILS ABOUT YOUR D.R. THAT MIGHT UPSET HIM/HER.)

            THANK GOD FOR THE SPIRITUAL GROWTH YOU WILL EXPERIENCE THROUGH YOUR D.R. BECAUSE “AS IRONS SHARPENS IRON, ONE MAN SHARPENS ANOTHER.” PROVERBS 27:17

In this Painful Season

By Jill Krueger Wagner

Many times, when I’ve found myself in a difficult situation, I have asked God to show me how to navigate the circumstances in the light of Philippians 4:8. I would ask Him to show me what is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, or praiseworthy, given the events that have unfolded. So today, I came before Him and asked how do I find those things following the deaths of my mother, my son, and my friend in a short six months’ time?

What is true: God hates death – it’s reign over us in temporary.

Death is God’s enemy and will one day be destroyed (1 Corinthians 15:26).

The Devil came to kill, steal, and destroy but Jesus came to give us abundant life (John 10:10).

Jesus came to destroy the works of the devil (1 John 3:8).

What is noble:

Jesus wept, (John 11:35) so grieve honestly without pretense. Crying is not something to hide. Know that Jesus will bring good from this (Romans 8:28).

What is right:

We’re in the world, so we’ll have trouble but Jesus has overcome the world (John 16:33).

The death of God’s saints is precious to Him (Psalm 116:15) Mom, Todd, and Linda all knew God and were, therefore, saints.

What is pure:

I don’t grieve without hope as the world does, (1 Thessalonians 4:13) but know I’ll see Mom, Todd, and Linda again. I shouldn't fear strong emotions. If Jesus wept freely, so can I.

 What is lovely:

Thoughts of no more pain for my loved ones, not focusing on my loss but on their gain. Mom had been bed-ridden for eight months – now she’s walking streets of gold. Todd was tormented as a targeted individual – now he’s walking with Jesus and the saints, enjoying freedom. Linda’s health was so bad that she had difficulty walking a few steps – now she’s not hindered at all by her body.

 What is admirable:

Not hiding my pain but not displaying it unnecessarily either.

 What is excellent:

To believe all God says about death.

 What is Praiseworthy:

Proceeding daily to do all God’s called me to do.