Although I do indeed love Christmas – the shopping for the
perfect gift, the baking and the decorations all can set my heart aglow – my
fondness for December goes beyond this. In my family we celebrate three
birthdays in the month, mine is among them – but still that’s not why I love
December.
I love December because it was the month in which, for the
first time, I realized the full extent of God’s love for me. It was in December
while I was contemplating suicide that I decided that turning my life over to
God might be a good alternative. I’d heard the Gospel story that Jesus had died
to pay for my sin and I could no longer pretend I wasn’t a sinner. I knew the
depths of my depravity yet still I clung to my way of life. I didn’t want to
change yet I did want to change. I wanted to be the girl I once was, full of
laughter and fun. So in my bedroom on South Magnolia Drive in Mentor, Ohio I
told God that if He could do anything with my life He was welcome to it.
I know lots of people feel an instantaneous relief when they
do this – I did not. There were no fireworks going off, no sense of something
different at all yet slowly I began to change. I developed an insatiable desire
to read the Bible. I scoured the New Testament to learn about who Jesus really
was and what He expected of me. What I saw there disheartened my because I knew
that I couldn’t live up to God’s standards – I mean it said that I should be
holy and perfect like God. Who can do that? So I went to Rev. Bill Worman and
he slapped his knee and said, “Praise God, you’ve got it!” I just looked at him
with my jaw open until he explained. He said, “Jill, if you could be good
enough for God, Jesus would not have had to die for you.”
Then the weight fell off my shoulders, then I understood –
there isn’t anything any human being can do to meet God’s expectations. Billy
Graham, the Pope, Mother Teresa and I all had to come to God humbly and accept
the sacrifice freely offered by him.
This started my adventure into a life lived for the one who
died for me. I still live a rather common life but in service to an uncommon
Savior it takes on so many new dimensions. He created me to do good works
before the creation of the world. I don’t do these works to gain heaven –
heaven is the gift he gave me long ago. But I live my life to please Him and He
prompts me to do AWESOME things that reflect who He is. This brings an
unbelievable satisfaction to me.
It amuses me greatly that those who know me now won’t
believe me when I tell them the type of person I was before coming to Christ.
He has transformed me beyond my wildest dreams and chooses to use me for His
Glory.
If you need transformation, if you hate what you’ve become,
reach out to Him. He’s waiting for you just like the father of the prodigal son
in Luke 15. He looks at you with love in His eyes and longs to have you in his
household. And if you choose to come
there will be rejoicing in heaven.
Merry Christmas!
Jill
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