Our 2020 Christmas Letter

 

Many of you know that 2020 started off very rough for Ray and me. Ray suffered a stroke on December 23 while we were in Cleveland. That was followed by a week in University Hospital. Then after we got back to Charlotte he went into rehab, followed by months of physical, occupational, and speech therapy. Although the therapists were first rate things looked grim at first. I wondered if I should even attempt to write a Christmas letter this year but God deserves glory for all He did in our trial.

“God wraps grace around us to hold us together during the storms of life. It means that when the wind and waves are beating on our lives from all sides, and we fear we aren’t going to make it through, His grace holds us together; His grace supports us; His grace strengthens us; His grace keeps us secure. It doesn’t stop the waves from coming, but it keeps us from falling apart.” Erin H. Warren from her book “Way Maker.”

As I looked over the entries in my thank you journal I saw how God stepped up for us. He provided financially through my employer. There was no way I could have gone to work and left Ray but I was given paid medical leave.

God provided practical and spiritual support through our church and family and friends – prayers, calls, and cards lifted us up to remind us that we weren’t in this alone. The church supplied the wheelchair we needed. I praise God that our services were online because I needed spiritual food and one sermon in particular was just for me. Pastor said, “Circumstances can’t destroy you when your savior defines you.” Amen Talbot! Our church family also supplied dozens of meals first because of Ray’s stroke then because I broke my foot.

God supplied emotional help, too. On days when I needed to get out of the house, fellow Christians came to sit with Ray. The nurse from BGEA helped me navigate the things I had to do because Ray’s primary care physician didn’t do the job of coordinating his care. Our kids and our son-in-law went above and beyond to help in so many ways. I know I could not have navigated what was required of me without them.

Physically Ray is doing very well now. He does still struggle with some short-term memory loss but honestly who doesn’t at our age?

Although working from home due to COVID was an additional drag, I came to REALLY enjoy working in my PJs and sleeping in later. I actually get much more done without the normal distractions of an office setting.

One very bright spot in our year was celebrating our 50^th wedding anniversary. Meredith originally wanted to have a big party but because of COVID that was out of the question so she invited us to her lake house. We carefully traveled to Ohio and she planned a Zoom meeting of many family and friends and fixed us a fantastic meal.

All in all, Ray and I feel that, although not our favorite year, 2020 will go down in the Wagner family history as a year when God helped us, sustained us, and grew us spiritually.

May God bless your Christmas and the New Year.

                                                                                    Love,

                                                                                    Ray and Jill

Let your love be evident to all

 By Jill Krueger Wagner

An old song declared, “They will know we are Christians by our love.” Unfortunately that is not the case today. Many Christians are known more for their antagonism towards anyone who is different from them. That breaks my heart.

A good portion of the New Testament addressed how God made one people out of Jews and Gentiles yet today the challenge seems to be to make one church of conservatives and liberals. It must break God’s heart to see accusations thrown at His people from His people. I wish each one of us would remember that Satan is the “accuser of the brethren” and when we accuse a brother or sister we are taking a play from the devil’s playbook. He loves that.

Instead we should be living 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7. This is a favorite portion of the Bible for me. It was one of the Scriptures God used to redeem my marriage by constantly asking me, “Are you loving Ray with 1 Corinthians 13 love yet?”

I wish before each of us posted on social media or spoke to another Christian we would ask ourselves, does this evidence 1 Corinthians 13 love. Is it patient, kind, envious, boastful, proud, does it dishonor a fellow Christian, is it self-seeking, easily angered, does it keep a record of wrong. Does it delight in evil or rejoice with the truth. Does it protect, trust, hope and persevere? Does it represent our loving God or our accusing enemy?

“If you really fulfill the royal law according to the Scripture, 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself,' you do well.” James 2:8

Chosen Yet Delivered into the Enemy’s Hands

By Jill Krueger Wagner

It’s pretty common knowledge that the Bible says the Jews are God’s Chosen People. The unfortunate thing is that the Jews didn’t understand that God’s choosing didn’t make them better than others. Instead it gave them a sacred trust to live a life worthy of the God they served. Living by the Law set them apart so they might show the rest of the world the difference that walking with God made. They weren’t better, the God they served was better than the “gods” of other nations and His law gave them a better life.

Believing they had a special relationship with God, they assumed that He would allow them to sin without repercussions. They were wrong. The watching world saw how they acted and their sin tarnished God’s reputation. For years God tried to draw them back into a right relationship with Him. He sent them prophets who warned them of impending judgement. They didn’t take kindly to that. They persecuted those prophets. They had forgotten that “The fear of God is the beginning of wisdom.”

Their sins were huge. They served other gods along with the one true God. A sin He called adultery. They also offered living sacrifices of their own children to those other gods. Both sins were strictly forbidden in the Law.

When God’s patience reached its limit, God sent violent, cruel countries to invade Israel. Many Jews were killed and others were taken into captivity.

Why am I bringing all of this up? America has also had a special relationship with God. She was founded by Christians who were fleeing persecution in other nations. For a good portion of her existence she was considered a Christian nation – a nation where the Judeo-Christian ethic was honored. Yet in recent years, that ethic has not been honored but instead, disdained. She has turned her back on the Bible and has murdered millions of her own children. Preachers who point this out are ridiculed for being backward.

Can we escape the fate Israel was dealt? Not if God is faithful to his Word. The injustice of murder taints our land and Jehovah is a jealous God who won’t share his throne with any other gods.

Good and Evil in Marriage

By Jill Krueger Wagner

I doubt that anyone would disagree with the statement that there are two opposing forces in the world: forces for good and forces for evil. However, some might argue with the thought that those two forces each have an architect behind them.

There probably isn’t a husband or wife alive who, at one time or another, thought that their spouse was acting just plain evil (or stupid, insensitive, asinine, etc.). Usually when we’ve been hurt or disappointed our mind goes toward the negative and nobody can hurt or disappoint like a spouse.

It would be disturbing to actually think that some evil beings were behind a spouse’s actions that upset us, but that is exactly what the Bible says:

“For our struggle in not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” Ephesians 6:12

Who is pulling the strings of your spouse’s actions? Who gains when spouses fight? The hate-filled one who loves disunity, fighting, and arguing. The thief who wants to steal your happiness, the Devil.

Who loses? Husbands, wives, and God.

If those rulers, authorities, powers, and evil forces can keep you focused on your mate’s behavior, they have a good chance of dividing you.

If, on the other hand, God can get you to “love one another,” “be kind one to another, tenderhearted forgiving one another,” He can bind you together with love. God wins and so do you and your spouse.

You see Jesus said “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” John 10:10 God wants you to have a good marriage.

Remember who your REAL enemy is. Also remember that “a good marriage is made up of two good forgivers.”

Being in a funk

By Jill Kruger Wagner

I’m sure I’m not the only one who gets into those moods when I’m just unhappy for no apparent reason. I don’t want to do anything, nothing brings me joy, and I just feel restless. In my younger days we used to call in being in a funk.

Why do I let my feelings dictate my course of action? They can be oh so domineering and frustrating yet I don’t fight them, instead I give into them. I don’t think that’s how Jesus wants me to handle them.

A reading of the New Testament shows us that Jesus believed that evil spirits existed. Could there be a “funky” spirit? Or perhaps it’s just spirits of restlessness, discontentment, and depression. At one point Jesus said, “what you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth, will be loosed in heaven” (Matthew 16:19). So one day I decided I would ask God to bind the spirit of restlessness and loose peace, bind the spirit of discontentment and loose contentment, and bind the spirit of depression and loose hope in the Name of Jesus. I felt better. So I thought, “this is a spiritual problem, therefore I must use spiritual methods to overcome it.”

So I took out my Sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God – The Bible and I went to battle against my funk.I repeated Scriptures out loud like “Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him” Psalm 62:5. I reminded myself that “the battle is the Lord’s” 2 Chronicles 20:15 and “the Lord is invincible in battle” Psalm 24:8. Jesus told me to “take on his yoke and learn from Him and I’d find rest for my soul” Matthew 11:28-29. Hearing the Word encouraged me.

The Bible also says, “Resist the devil and he will flee from you” James 4:7. I wasn’t sure it was the devil but I did feel like those feelings might be evil spirits – they were dark moods so I pictured in my mind what I was feeling and called it out. I said something like: “In the name of Jesus I resist you spirit of restlessness – the Word promises me peace. In the name of Jesus I resist you spirit of anxiety, I have the peace that passes all understanding. In the name of Jesus I resist you spirit of workaholism, I don’t work for self-worth, Jesus gives me that.” That felt really weird but somehow I felt like a warrior vanquishing unseen powers of darkness – again I was cheered up.  

I recalled that God inhabits the praise of his people and I decided to sing “songs, hymns, and spiritual singing.” Another bump up in my disposition.

Then I decided I should get my eyes off of myself. I prayed asking God to show me someone else who may be in a funk. Someone came to mind and I reached out to encourage her and encouraged myself in the process.

After all of this I was in good spirits – what had happened? I didn’t wallow in my funk but I grabbed those feelings by the scruff of the neck and tossed them out like the garbage they are. Now if I just remember that the next time I feel funky. That’s a plan.

God, A Best Friend but not a Buddy

By Jill Krueger Wagner

God is my best friend. He loves me unconditionally. He shows me how to live a good life. He comforts me when life gets hard. He disciplines me when I need it. He shows me truth. He warns me when things aren’t as they seem. He’s my best friend but He is not my buddy. He is the God of the universe, the Holy One of Israel. He is the Creator, Redeemer, and the judge of all the earth. I am just a human being, as was Moses.

The Lord would speak to Moses face to face, as one speaks to a friend. Exodus 33:11. But the Lord wasn’t a man like Moses. God is holy. God expects us to do as His says. Moses learned that the hard way. Moses was God’s friend and God used him in mighty ways but Moses overstepped his bounds. He didn’t follow God’s instructions then he claimed that he and Aaron would bring water out of a rock – but it was God who did that. Furthermore God had told him to speak to the rock to get the water but instead he struck it with his rod. God still graciously gave the Israeli’s the water they needed but as a result of not following God’s directions, both Moses and Aaron were not permitted to go into the Promise Land. What a hard lesson.

I have overstepped my bounds in ignorance and God has graciously forgiven me. Even the Apostle Paul was shown mercy for persecuting the church before his Damascus Road conversion. He explained in 1 Timothy 1:13 that he, too, did it in ignorance. But we must not presume on God’s forgiveness. We need to check our attitudes toward God. 

A perusal of His qualities can help remind us who we serve. He is omniscient, omnipresent, omnipotent, sovereign, and majestic. He is immortal, invisible, truth, light, and exalted. He is glorious, mighty, powerful, and worthy of reverential fear. And we are just dust.

Do you hear from God?

By Jill Krueger Wagner

Hearing voices can be a sign of a mental disorder like schizophrenia or bipolar disorder. Supposedly, normal people just don’t hear voices in their heads so what are we to think when someone claims to hear from God? Are they unbalanced?

I remember when some new women started coming to my church and one of them talked like she had running conversations with the Lord. She’d say, “The Lord said this or I heard from the Lord…” My first thought was, “say what?” I thought she had a screw loose but there was something very winsome about her. I was intrigued so when she invited me to a Bible study, I went.

There I learned how God generally talks to people – through the written word of the Bible. I came to understand that this was no ordinary book but a library of books all pointing to God’s ultimate purpose for us all – salvation. The Old Testament showed that we can’t live up to God’s demands and the New Testament showed his solution – Jesus. I also learned that in that book, in both testaments, God spoke to people. So my question then was, “Does He still speak?”

Well, personally, I have heard His voice and that is in accord to what Jesus said in John 10:27, “My sheep listen to my voice.” I’ve discovered that most often He speaks to me when I read my Bible. But I’ve had times when I’ve had an issue and I’ve heard Him give me a Scripture reference that I had to look up.

Once I was extremely frustrated. I felt I was doing everything I knew to do yet things were not working well for me. I literally looked up at the ceiling and screamed, “What do you want from me.” I clearly heard “Micah 6:8.” I turned to my Bible and read, “He has shown you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God?” Yep – I definitely heard God speak.

God isn’t like the media

By Jill Kruger Wagner

            I’m very glad that God isn’t like the news media. The media seems to delight to pounce on any mistake a person makes and broadcast it all over the world. They will dig into a person’s background to find something damning to publish. They will attempt to portray a person negatively by thoughtless word or deed – even if those happened decades before. They seem to see people only as good or bad – nothing in between. Can you remember anything in your past that would taint who you are today? I can.

            But God… He desires for us to repent of our sins because He wants us to live up to our full potential and sin prevents that. He lovingly will point the way to a clean life, a fulfilling life, a life free from guilt and condemnation. His Word says, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and cleanse us from all unrighteousness” 1 John 1:9. But that isn’t all. In Micah 7:19 it says …he “will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea.” A friend of mine used to say, “And then he puts up a no fishing sign.” Why? Because “If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” 2 Corinthians 5:17

            God doesn’t need to sell papers and He doesn’t make money from your clicks on Internet stories. He wants to give you the life Jesus died to give you, a fulfilling life in which you live up to your potential. Jesus came that you “Might have life and have it to the full” John 10:10.

            I am super glad that God isn’t like the media.

Live a life worthy of your calling

“I then as a prisoner of the Lord urge you to live a life worthy of your calling.” Ephesians 4:1

All your life God has been preparing you for your calling. He knit you together in your mother’s womb with just the right DNA for the task, custom designed you, and fitted you with all the tools you would need. Then He allowed you to go through various trials and experiences in this fallen world to train you on handling obstacles. Why? So that you might pass along comfort and coping skills to others to help them.

“Praise be to the God and Father of our LORD Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” 1 Corinthians 1:3-4

Who better than a woman who was abused to pass along to another woman the hard lesson of standing up for herself, moving on, and forgiving? Who better than a quadriplegic to impart knowledge of following God from a wheelchair? Who better than a successful businesswoman to pass along to another raising star how to navigate the business world successfully without losing her soul? Who better than someone who has been knocked down again and again to show another how to repeatedly get up in the power of the Lord?

We all have gifts that play into our calling. If you are unsure of your calling, pray and ask God to show you your passion – for surely that is where your calling lies. If you are still unsure ask a friend, pastor or family member. They probably know. Then live a life worthy!

God's Fight School by Jill Krueger Wagner

As a mom of four, I often felt more like a referee than a mom. Hearing yet another fight between the siblings would send me into “crazy mom” mode. Yet, now I see I didn’t handle these verbal battles in the most productive way. It never occurred to me that perhaps sibling rivalry is actually God’s fight school. It is in the home that children learn either the right or wrong way to fight. The wrong way is destructive, the right way is constructive. God knows we will all be in fights for our entire life and He wants us to do it right. Too often I intervened in fights when I should have listened first and then attempted to have the combatants come to a mutually agreeable solution. 

If we look to the Bible to see how Jesus handled confrontation we realize that Jesus was constantly being confronted. It’s interesting to learn that His responses varied depending on the situation.

Most of us know He said to “turn the other cheek” in Matthew 5:39 but when someone actually struck Him in John 18:22 – He challenged that person. So, clearly, there are times to turn the other cheek and times to challenge. Only the Holy Spirit can help us to discern the correct course of action.

We often see Him verbally sparring and correcting the religious leaders of the day but he wasn’t always quick to respond. When the woman was caught it adultery in John 8 they asked Him several times for a ruling, He wrote in the dirt for a while then finally answered brilliantly. And at His trials He spoke very little, although Herod plied him with questions, Jesus gave him no answer. It seems there is a time to spar and a time when silence is the best answer. 

When He was in a confrontation with the Devil in Luke 4, His answers were all Scripture. That is a good model for us all. 

If I could have a do-over, this is how I’d handle my kids fighting.

#1 I’d pray and seek God’s wisdom regarding what each of my children needed to be equipped to fight in this cruel world of ours. Some kids are natural fighters, some kids are natural appeasers. Both personalities have their strengths and weaknesses. I’d spend time praying to understand each child, most especially the one so different from myself. Once I got that understanding, I’d look for a “life verse” to pray over each child. A verse that would include what God wants them to know. 

#2 As we see in Luke 4, the enemy attacks who we are: “If you are the Son of God.” In a fight an opponent often uses this tactic. Jesus knew who He was, even when the entire world disrespected Him. I would teach my kids to know who they are. Rooting their self-worth in the fact that God created them, loves them, and went to an extreme to prove that love would give them a good base when others try to destroy them. On top of that, I’d point out their good qualities. “Johnny you are a good listener. Johnny, that was a very kind thing you did, I’m so proud of you. Johnny, thank you for helping me.” I’d catch my kids doing things right and tell them so instead of only telling them what they did wrong. Then I’d ask them, “Jenny, who are you?” The first time I would ask, they probably wouldn’t know what to say. I’d need to reinforce the positive qualities I see it them. “Jenny you are a child who tries to do the right thing. Jenny, you have a good mind, you ask excellent questions. Jenny, you defend and care about others.”

#3 I would help my kids understand there is a way to fight like Jesus and a way to fight like the devil. Each of us has two natures – I once heard it described as two German Shepherds living within us. One good dog and one bad dog. Which dog will win the fight? The one you feed. I’d have each child memorize John 10:10 “The thief comes only to steal, kill, and destroy; I have come that they may have life and have it to the full.” I’d ask if they want to be like Jesus and give life with your words or do they want to destroy with their words?

#4 I’d have a meeting with my kids. I’d talk to them about how their fighting can be good or bad. It can clear away hurts or it can inflict them. I’d ask them to talk to me about their feelings and try to help them see the root of the fight. Is the other person hurt? Does she feel disrespected? Is he/she being a bully on a power trip? Then we’d develop a plan to deescalate the issue.

#5 I think I’d role play with them to see how they would act when bullied by a sibling or even on the playground. And afterwards talk together about what they did well and what they might improve on.

Although these aren’t the things I did with my kids, there was a couple of things I did right. I didn’t favor any one child and I didn’t pit them one against the other. I can’t really take any credit for that since it is how I was raised. Also I learned in Genesis that favoring a child brings disastrous results.

I pray anyone reading this blog entry will do better than I and that all their children will get straight A’s in God’s fight school.

Knowledge and Wisdom

Knowledge and Wisdom

By Jill Krueger Wagner

I’ve been studying knowledge and wisdom in the Bible lately. Although both are highly valued, they come with a caveat – they need to be sought God’s way. 

According to Webster knowledge is acquaintance with fact; clear perception of truth. Wisdom is the ability to judge soundly and deal shrewdly with facts.

Eve wanted the knowledge of good and evil and wisdom, too, but she broke God’s rule to get it. Therefore, she went from the queen of Eden to the gardner’s wife, kicked out of paradise.

Solomon asked for wisdom and knowledge when he became king. He was said to be the wisest man who ever lived, yet he didn’t follow God’s law regarding multiplying wives and horses. There is no Biblical record that he followed God’s command to write out his own copy of the law and read it always (Deuteronomy 17: 18). If he had, one wonders if he would have had to try so many things recorded in the book of Ecclesiastes to seek fulfillment and finally conclude what was already written to kings in Deut. 17: 19. We are to fear God and keep his commandments (Eccl. 12:13).

I also learned that the fear of God is the beginning of knowledge (Proverbs 1:7) and of wisdom, too (Proverbs 9:10). They are linked together repeatedly in Prov. 2:5-6, 8:10-11,14:8,18:15,24:3-4; Eccl. 7:12; Rom. 11:33; 1 Corinthians 12:8; Col. 1:9-10, 2:2-3.

Some random things I learned about knowledge:

·         Job spoke words without knowledge when he accused God of being unfair to him

·         One day the earth will be full of the knowledge of the Lord

·         People are destroyed from a lack of knowledge

·         Rejection of the knowledge of God ends in depravity

·         Knowledge puffs up but love builds up

·         Having knowledge without love makes us nothing but the love of God surpasses knowledge

·         Knowledge of the truth leads to godliness

·         God wants all to come to the knowledge of the truth

And what I learned about wisdom:

·         Pride breeds quarrels but wisdom is found in those who take advice

·         A man who loves wisdom brings joy to his father

·         The rod of correction imparts wisdom

·         The ideal woman speaks with wisdom and faithful instruction in on her tongue

·         It was predicted that Jesus would have the Spirit of wisdom & understanding, the Spirit of counsel & power, the Spirit of knowledge & the fear of the Lord

·         To fear God’s name is wisdom

·         Christ has become for us the wisdom of God

·         Paul prayed the Ephesians would be given the Spirit of wisdom & revelation, so they might know Christ better

·         If we lack wisdom, we are to ask God for it & He’ll give it

·         Humility comes from wisdom

So how do we attain knowledge and wisdom? A good place to start might be Psalm 119. Then perhaps the Gospels and the Epistles. In this time of social distancing it would be good to “come near to God.”