Dreading Christmas

Dreading Christmas

By Jill Krueger Wagner

The Apostle Paul said we are to “Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season,” and one of the best seasons to preach the Gospel is Christmas; yet we are often so preoccupied with preparations that instead of looking for ways to tell others the Gospel, we simply dread the holiday.

Why would anyone dread celebrating the day our Savior was born? When our focus shifts from Jesus to celebrating a cultural Christmas, joy often becomes a casualty of our skewed priorities. The sweetness of an old-fashioned Christmas — enjoying the reading of Luke 2 and making precious memories with those we love — has been supplanted by the stress of trying to buy the perfect gift, putting up excessive decorations, overeating and partying. 

The very mention of Christmas causes many to stress. Why? Too much to do and too little time in which to do it. We want to focus on Jesus’ birth, but the list of must-dos far outweighs our can-dos and the real reason for the season gets lost. Where can we start so that this Christmas will be different? Pare down your list of expectations and start preparation earlier so you can focus on Jesus’ birth.

Pare down your list of expectations

We all have many things we want to do but as someone once said, “You can’t do everything everyone wants you to do, you can’t even do everything you want to do, but you can do everything Jesus wants you to do.” What does Jesus want for your holiday?

Mathew 11:29 he said, “Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls.” He wants you to learn from him. He had many expectations placed on him, but He didn’t overdo.

Ask your husband and children individually what they love most about Christmas, then ask them what they hate. Typically, I have found that gifts may be on their list, but time spent with family is first. They love baking together, playing together. They often hate that mom gets short-tempered or dad complains about the money spent. Every family has its own dynamics so find out what matters to yours. 

Once you’ve surveyed your family, take a 3x5 card and ask the Lord to show you what your top three priorities for Christmas should be. Get a binder with dividers and pockets. Paper clip the card with your priorities in a prominent place in your binder. Your plan is to analyze each suggested event as to whether it will fulfill your priorities. 

Make a list of everything you usually do for Christmas, from making a certain dish to places you go. Ask God to help you remember everything. Call a family meeting and explain that you want to make this the best Christmas ever. Tell them that in the past you’ve tried to do too much, but this year you want Jesus to be No. 1 in your celebration, so some things will have to go. 

Customize your binder tabs to your needs – gifts, card list, events, entertaining, travel, menus, and miscellaneous – one section for organizing. Then, seek out advice on how to organize what is important to your family. The internet has a wealth of information and you might want to ask friends, perhaps someone who always seem to have a system for everything. Tap her brain for suggestions. Having everything written down helps alleviate stress – if it’s down on paper you’re less likely to forget. 

Suggest a gift exchange to the extended family where you only must purchase one gift and there is a set amount you can spend. The first year I suggested this for all the young cousins, the idea was shot down. However, within a few years the rest of the family decided it was a good idea. Now the kids exchange names and they really know what to get one another. It has evolved into a yearly “cousin’s Christmas party” that they all anticipate. 

Start preparation earlier

Fall is an extraordinarily busy season, so if you don’t make Christmas prep a priority it will sneak up on you. There are many things you can do before December that will enable you to focus on the Gift we received that first Christmas. 

Build a gift list. Make a document that includes the name, budgeted amount to spend on that person, gift, actual cost. Next year print out the list again (adding or subtracting names as needed) and put it in the binder with the year.  That way you don’t need to make a list every year, and you have the benefit of knowing what you’ve given them in previous years. Once I gave my father the same gift two years in a row – I felt so silly.

In this section of your binder, you can store ideas for people – like if you hear Aunt Marie say in June that she would like a new casserole dish, write it down. If you are reading a magazine and think, “Mom would love a subscription,” or you see an ad for something your sister would enjoy – make a note. Don’t include your kids on this list since you may leave it lying around and little ones are curious. I made their lists on index cards that I kept with me or hidden in a safe place.

If you don’t have any gift ideas, do an online search for a certain category like, “toys for a five-year-old,” or “gifts for elderly shut-ins.” You’ll find many ideas. 

Budget for Christmas – usually one marriage partner is a spender and one is a saver. Christmas sometimes causes great stress on the saver. Early in the fall talk it out and set a budget for how much you are both comfortable with spending. Remember, Jesus was only given three gifts and that’s not a bad rule of thumb. 

Start purchasing a few supplies every week. At the grocery, buy extra flour and sugar for the baking. At the dollar store, buy wrapping paper, ribbon, name tags, replacement light bulbs – really, anything that you will need so that it doesn’t hit all at once. Consider resale stores for some of these items.

Consider doubling your dinner recipes in November then freezing the leftovers in serving dishes you can just throw into the oven on those busy December days.

Ask your friends to help you with specific issues you may have; they are a wealth of information. 

Focus on Jesus’ birth

Choose some of these suggestions that fit with your family.

·         Consider a family advent calendar or wreath

·         Pray as a family for one or more friends, neighbors, or relative that needs Jesus, asking God what you can do for them to show His heart to them

·         Each day, pray for God to give you an opportunity to spread the Gospel

·         Buy tracts about the true meaning of Christmas and give them out to fellow shoppers

·         Look for ways to spread the love of Jesus

·         Beginning on December 1, read a chapter in the Gospel of Luke each day to learn about Jesus’ life

·         Look for devotions or Christ-centered Christmas stories to read each night

·         One family I knew would have a nativity with everyone except the baby Jesus in the family room. He would be in a room far away and someone would get the privilege of bringing him a little closer each day until on Christmas morning he’d be in the manger.

·         Make a birthday cake for Jesus and take it outside on Christmas morning. Sing “happy birthday” to Him and gently moving it back and forth so Jesus (the wind) can blow the candles out

·         Give paper and an envelope to each family member for them to write what they would like to give to Jesus as a gift this Christmas, things like a kinder heart toward a little sister, reading to a neighborhood shut-in, or doing chores without being crabby. Put the envelope on the Christmas tree to be opened on Christmas morning

·         Volunteer at a homeless shelter

·         Do Christmas carols at a local hospital or in your neighborhood

·         On Christmas morning, read Luke 2

·          Invite a lonely neighbor or a student who can’t go home for the holiday to your Christmas dinner

After Jesus, put your family before anything else. Mark up your family calendar with Christmas concerts the kids are in, commitment to extended family, when you’d like to make those Christmas cookies, nights when you’d like to go see the area lights. Here’s a fun idea for seeing the lights that can add a bit of joy for someone else: vote on your favorite decorated house and have the family take a small dollar store gift to the door and say, “Thank you for your decorations – they brought us joy.”

Hopefully instituting some of these suggestions will turn your thoughts of Christmas from dread to a sweet expectancy so you can robustly sing, “Joy to the world, our Lord is come!”