Dreading Christmas

Dreading Christmas

By Jill Krueger Wagner

The Apostle Paul said we are to “Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season,” and one of the best seasons to preach the Gospel is Christmas; yet we are often so preoccupied with preparations that instead of looking for ways to tell others the Gospel, we simply dread the holiday.

Why would anyone dread celebrating the day our Savior was born? When our focus shifts from Jesus to celebrating a cultural Christmas, joy often becomes a casualty of our skewed priorities. The sweetness of an old-fashioned Christmas — enjoying the reading of Luke 2 and making precious memories with those we love — has been supplanted by the stress of trying to buy the perfect gift, putting up excessive decorations, overeating and partying. 

The very mention of Christmas causes many to stress. Why? Too much to do and too little time in which to do it. We want to focus on Jesus’ birth, but the list of must-dos far outweighs our can-dos and the real reason for the season gets lost. Where can we start so that this Christmas will be different? Pare down your list of expectations and start preparation earlier so you can focus on Jesus’ birth.

Pare down your list of expectations

We all have many things we want to do but as someone once said, “You can’t do everything everyone wants you to do, you can’t even do everything you want to do, but you can do everything Jesus wants you to do.” What does Jesus want for your holiday?

Mathew 11:29 he said, “Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls.” He wants you to learn from him. He had many expectations placed on him, but He didn’t overdo.

Ask your husband and children individually what they love most about Christmas, then ask them what they hate. Typically, I have found that gifts may be on their list, but time spent with family is first. They love baking together, playing together. They often hate that mom gets short-tempered or dad complains about the money spent. Every family has its own dynamics so find out what matters to yours. 

Once you’ve surveyed your family, take a 3x5 card and ask the Lord to show you what your top three priorities for Christmas should be. Get a binder with dividers and pockets. Paper clip the card with your priorities in a prominent place in your binder. Your plan is to analyze each suggested event as to whether it will fulfill your priorities. 

Make a list of everything you usually do for Christmas, from making a certain dish to places you go. Ask God to help you remember everything. Call a family meeting and explain that you want to make this the best Christmas ever. Tell them that in the past you’ve tried to do too much, but this year you want Jesus to be No. 1 in your celebration, so some things will have to go. 

Customize your binder tabs to your needs – gifts, card list, events, entertaining, travel, menus, and miscellaneous – one section for organizing. Then, seek out advice on how to organize what is important to your family. The internet has a wealth of information and you might want to ask friends, perhaps someone who always seem to have a system for everything. Tap her brain for suggestions. Having everything written down helps alleviate stress – if it’s down on paper you’re less likely to forget. 

Suggest a gift exchange to the extended family where you only must purchase one gift and there is a set amount you can spend. The first year I suggested this for all the young cousins, the idea was shot down. However, within a few years the rest of the family decided it was a good idea. Now the kids exchange names and they really know what to get one another. It has evolved into a yearly “cousin’s Christmas party” that they all anticipate. 

Start preparation earlier

Fall is an extraordinarily busy season, so if you don’t make Christmas prep a priority it will sneak up on you. There are many things you can do before December that will enable you to focus on the Gift we received that first Christmas. 

Build a gift list. Make a document that includes the name, budgeted amount to spend on that person, gift, actual cost. Next year print out the list again (adding or subtracting names as needed) and put it in the binder with the year.  That way you don’t need to make a list every year, and you have the benefit of knowing what you’ve given them in previous years. Once I gave my father the same gift two years in a row – I felt so silly.

In this section of your binder, you can store ideas for people – like if you hear Aunt Marie say in June that she would like a new casserole dish, write it down. If you are reading a magazine and think, “Mom would love a subscription,” or you see an ad for something your sister would enjoy – make a note. Don’t include your kids on this list since you may leave it lying around and little ones are curious. I made their lists on index cards that I kept with me or hidden in a safe place.

If you don’t have any gift ideas, do an online search for a certain category like, “toys for a five-year-old,” or “gifts for elderly shut-ins.” You’ll find many ideas. 

Budget for Christmas – usually one marriage partner is a spender and one is a saver. Christmas sometimes causes great stress on the saver. Early in the fall talk it out and set a budget for how much you are both comfortable with spending. Remember, Jesus was only given three gifts and that’s not a bad rule of thumb. 

Start purchasing a few supplies every week. At the grocery, buy extra flour and sugar for the baking. At the dollar store, buy wrapping paper, ribbon, name tags, replacement light bulbs – really, anything that you will need so that it doesn’t hit all at once. Consider resale stores for some of these items.

Consider doubling your dinner recipes in November then freezing the leftovers in serving dishes you can just throw into the oven on those busy December days.

Ask your friends to help you with specific issues you may have; they are a wealth of information. 

Focus on Jesus’ birth

Choose some of these suggestions that fit with your family.

·         Consider a family advent calendar or wreath

·         Pray as a family for one or more friends, neighbors, or relative that needs Jesus, asking God what you can do for them to show His heart to them

·         Each day, pray for God to give you an opportunity to spread the Gospel

·         Buy tracts about the true meaning of Christmas and give them out to fellow shoppers

·         Look for ways to spread the love of Jesus

·         Beginning on December 1, read a chapter in the Gospel of Luke each day to learn about Jesus’ life

·         Look for devotions or Christ-centered Christmas stories to read each night

·         One family I knew would have a nativity with everyone except the baby Jesus in the family room. He would be in a room far away and someone would get the privilege of bringing him a little closer each day until on Christmas morning he’d be in the manger.

·         Make a birthday cake for Jesus and take it outside on Christmas morning. Sing “happy birthday” to Him and gently moving it back and forth so Jesus (the wind) can blow the candles out

·         Give paper and an envelope to each family member for them to write what they would like to give to Jesus as a gift this Christmas, things like a kinder heart toward a little sister, reading to a neighborhood shut-in, or doing chores without being crabby. Put the envelope on the Christmas tree to be opened on Christmas morning

·         Volunteer at a homeless shelter

·         Do Christmas carols at a local hospital or in your neighborhood

·         On Christmas morning, read Luke 2

·          Invite a lonely neighbor or a student who can’t go home for the holiday to your Christmas dinner

After Jesus, put your family before anything else. Mark up your family calendar with Christmas concerts the kids are in, commitment to extended family, when you’d like to make those Christmas cookies, nights when you’d like to go see the area lights. Here’s a fun idea for seeing the lights that can add a bit of joy for someone else: vote on your favorite decorated house and have the family take a small dollar store gift to the door and say, “Thank you for your decorations – they brought us joy.”

Hopefully instituting some of these suggestions will turn your thoughts of Christmas from dread to a sweet expectancy so you can robustly sing, “Joy to the world, our Lord is come!”

GET READY!! Christmas is coming

As I’ve already seen Christmas items in the stores I am reminded of the Christmas Preparation Workshop that I used to teach. The purpose of the class was to help women enjoy the holiday instead of dreading it. Here are some things I learned.

If you want to enjoy Christmas either start earlier or do less. Ask yourself what do you really want Christmas to look like at your house – and I’m not talking decorations. Get out a 3x5 card and write down your goals – here is a sample of possible goals:

1.      To be done with shopping by Dec. 10

2.      To spread the true message of Christmas

3.      To help those around me enjoy the holidays

4.      To maintain a Christ like spirit

Then get a three ring binder and stick that card in the very front. Analyze everything you could do by whether or not you will reach your goals by doing those things.

Your binder will contain your gift list (except for your children still at home). If you give to the same people every year consider making multiple copies of the list to use year after year. Also include your Christmas card list if you do that and possible gift suggestions that you collect for individuals. ANYTHING that you need to do for Christmas should be in the binder – having a central location will help you be organized and minimize stress. Perhaps you could include recipes you use every year.

Ask your kids what their favorite part of Christmas is. We sometimes do things that we don’t need to that stress us out and they don’t really care about. What they really want is to spend time with the family.

Oh – for the kids – buy some large file cards and write down the gifts you’re buying to them and keep it away from them.

Throughout the years I’ve collected lots of ideas from friends about how they organize and stay on budget. Here is a sample:

·         As soon as the kids go back to school start buying extra flour, sugar, spices, anything you’ll need for baking so the cost doesn’t come all at once

·         Start doubling your meals in the fall and freezing half so all you need to do in December is defrost and bake

·         Consider teaming up with a friend to share childcare so you can shop – you watch her kids while she shops – she watches yours when you shop

·         If you have few traditions ask your friends what their meaningful ones are

·         If you really want to take the kids somewhere special put it on the calendar now and make arrangements.

·         Make shopping a team effort with you and your hubby – agree on a budget and stick to it

·         Consider asking family and friends if they would like to do a gift exchange – they might balk at first but warm up to the idea – we love it – less cost and effort

·         Wrap the gifts as soon as you get them

So that is a Reader’s Digest version of tips for enjoying the holidays. What are YOUR suggestions?

Holy Week Exercise by Jill Krueger Wagner

Yesterday our Sunday school class studied Matthew 11:16-28. In these Scriptures, Jesus was denouncing the Jewish cities for unbelief. He told them it would be better at the final judgment for immoral cities than for them because even though they lived by a moral code, they refused to acknowledge Jesus. We talked about how we as Christians are more closely aligned morally to the Jewish cities and how sometimes we, too, don’t live our lives in full repentance before Jesus.

I then passed out this exercise to be done this Holy Week because I do believe that sometimes we merrily go on our way thinking that we are pleasing to the Lord when we are in bondage to sins that don’t please him. What better time to repent and renounce our sins than the week when Jesus died to set us free from every habit that enslaves us? I pray you’ll find the freedom Jesus died to purchase.

Holy Week Exercise by Jill Krueger Wagner

Take some time during this Holy Week (at the very least 30 minutes) to get alone with God to honor what Jesus did on Good Friday. Read Matthew 26:57-27:54 to be reminded of what Jesus went through on that day. Thank Him for His sacrifice.

Ask Him to reveal to you in what area(s) of your life are still under bondage to Satan. Write the answer here.

Repent from whatever He reveals to you. To repent means to turn away from whatever is keeping you in bondage. Then ask Him how to gain victory over what He has revealed. Remember that the enemy comes to “kill, steal and destroy” but Jesus came so we “might have life and have it more abundantly.”  (I have found one book that has helped me in this area in “The Bondage Breaker” by Neil Anderson.)

Where are you when this happens? Can you avoid that place?

When does it happen? Can you preempt the attack in some way?

Is another person tempting you? Can you avoid them?

What will you do to avoid the situation?

What can you do or say to diffuse the situation?

Is there a Scripture you need to memorize to equip you to resist?

If you need support, is there someone that can help you? Ask them today.

After He has revealed a plan to you for victory, praise Him with at least one of your favorite songs, hymns or Psalm. Remember “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9 “All things work together for good to those who love God and are called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28 …”you will know the truth and the truth will set you free.” John 8:32

“Not This German Girl!”

By Jill Krueger Wagner

From the time I was a little girl I had a fascination with the Bible yet it wasn’t until I was in my twenties that I actually ever read it. I’d heard that nobody’s education was complete without knowledge of the New Testament. So after Ray and Todd came to live with us I went back to church because, at that time, most moral people took their children to church to learn right from wrong. Common sense seemed to dictate that a child who every week got a lesson on morality would be better prepared to navigate the temptations of the world without being destroyed by them.

After reading the Word of God I became aware of just how sinful I was – certain I was headed to Hell because I learned that God’s standards were impossibly high and my life had gotten pretty low. This led to my “Jesus moment” when I was deciding between committing suicide and committing my life to God. Obviously I choose to submit my life to God and all went well, at first. My hunger for the Bible became insatiable. I loved reading the Proverbs – so black and white on morality. I also loved the Psalms – many of David’s woes and his response really spoke to me. But then…

I started reading the New Testament letters of Paul and I read these words, “Wives submit to your husbands as unto the Lord.” My immediate response was, “Not this German girl!” Those of you who are German know that a German submitting so just about anyone is highly unlikely unless they are holding a gun to your head. We are a hard-headed, stubborn lot. Add to that the fact that at the time my husband was not the loving man he is today. We fought pretty regularly and he could be just as stubborn and unreasonable as I was. He has a little German blood running through his veins as well.

So I made a decision – I could just do everything else in the Bible and just ignore that particular instruction, after all that was written long ago and things were different in the 1970s. 

Funny things started to happen. When I was disrespectful to Ray little things started to go wrong. When I insisted on my own way things really fell apart. At first I figured it was just coincidence – not at all connected but after a while I couldn’t miss the correlation. I started to wonder if God was trying to tell me something but, since I still wasn’t about to submit, I just ignored the facts and went about my not so merry way. Then finally Ray and I had a blow up – I wanted to go somewhere – he didn’t want me to go. I went. I ended up with a flat tire. Now I knew a lot of people in my home town but couldn’t get ahold of anyone and I sure didn’t want to change it myself. So I called Ray who came and changed it.

After that I heard that still quiet voice that every Christian knows is God say. “Are you ready to obey My Word or do you want to find out what happens after the flat tire?” I couldn’t deny that responses to my rebellion were escalating – each response was bigger than the last. I didn’t want to submit but I also didn’t want to see the next response from God. So the next time we had a difference of opinion I “submitted data” but then I submitted. Funny thing happened after that – Ray was less unreasonable – listened more to my objections offered in a more respectful way. He even changed his mind on a few things and let me have my way.

Now don’t get me wrong – I am no doormat – that’s not what God wants or requires but He does insist that wives respect their husbands (and that husband love their wives like Jesus loves the Church.) But He is a God of order and he likes things done a certain way – His way. And, trust me, “your arms are too short to box with God!”

  That’s the Reader’s Digest version of how I went from, “Not this German girl” to “Okie-dokie!”

God is Speaking to You - Are You Listening?

What would your reaction be if someone claimed that God had spoken to them?

Would you write them off as a nut job? Would you be intrigued? Would you want some proof?

I remember the first time I heard someone say, “God said I should…” I don’t remember what it was God said but I do remember my reaction. I was intrigued because the woman who said this had an aura about her – not an actual halo-like glow but a joy that I simply couldn’t deny. I wanted to know more. I wanted to hear God speak.

As I came to know this woman I discovered that there are certain “rules” about God speaking.

·  
God will never tell you to do anything contrary to the Bible

·  
God often says things non-audibly – like you speaking to yourself – but says things you would never say like, “forgive the unforgivable.”

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God often uses our Bible reading to speak to us

·  
God sometimes uses other people to speak to us

·  
God sometimes whispers a Scripture reference that “just happens” to speak to the issue

Now I’m the one who is going to tell you that God has spoken to me. Most often He has spoken through his Word. Once when I left my husband in a fit of rage I opened my Bible and this is what I read, “The anger of man (or in this case woman) doesn’t bring about the righteous life God desires.” I went home to my husband.

Another time I actually planned to do something contrary to what God had revealed to be right in the Bible. That day I read, “If anyone competes as an athlete, he does not receive the victor’s crown unless he competes according to the rules.” I knew in my
spirit that God was telling me to obey His rules.

Once when I was furious with someone I very clearly heard God say (not audibly but in my head), “Jill, pray for her.” There is no way I would have thought that - I was entirely too angry.

My husband and I went through a really rough time after I became a Christian because, as he put it, “that wasn’t what I signed up for.” I prayed about it ALL the time and one day I again heard that voice in my head saying, “1 Corinthians 13.” Now many of you
automatically know that that is the love chapter but I was new to reading the Bible and I didn’t know what that chapter was about so I read it in my Bible. “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” So I read that and I was feeling very unloved so my response was, “Oh yes Lord, that is how I want to be love.” He clearly responded, “No Jill that is how I want you to love Ray.” I argued, “He doesn’t deserve it.” He said, “Do it anyway.” Now I know that wasn’t me because at that point I pretty
much hated my husband. I knew God had spoken to me and so I tried to do what He
asked but boy was that hard!

Another time I was so angry with someone that I told her off royal. I’d been a Christian only a short time and when she started to cry I felt triumphant – I know I’d hit the mark and hurt her as she had hurt me. But in the back of my mind I knew that I
probably shouldn’t have been so happy about bringing another person to tears. I
called a friend who knew the grief this woman had caused me. I expected her to
back me up but instead I heard her say, “Not exactly the way Jesus would have
handled it.” I knew God had spoken through my friend and I apologized to the
woman I hurt.

Finally there was the day when I was feeling pretty drained – I felt I was working really hard for the Lord but didn’t feel I was doing enough to please Him. I reached a limit and I stomped my foot looked up to heaven and asked,” What do you want from me, Lord?” Again I heard that voice say, “Micah 6:8.” I looked it up in my Bible
and it said, “What does the Lord require of you, O man, but to act justly, love
mercy and walk humbly before your God.” I knew God had spoken to me.  

God doesn’t play favorites so if He’s spoken to my friend and He’s spoken to me, He also speaks to you – you just have to recognize His voice.