Rolling in Poop by Jill Krueger Wagner

I love having a dog but one thing that they do is very disturbing. They roll in poop. I learned that wallowing in gross smelling crap is an instinctual thing they do to mask their scent but, gee, it’s just plain gross. It makes them totally unlovable and it is a sure-fire way for them to get one thing they often hate – a bath.

Ironically, I have to admit that once in a while, I wallow in junk. What I roll in isn’t feces but stinky attitudes. My odors of choice are self-pity and anger. I roll around in those things so that I’m certain my Heavenly Owner finds my smell repulsive yet He still loves me. He bathes me in His Word so that I can smell more like Him. He reminds me to be thankful and slow to anger. Eventually I see those base instincts to wallow for what they really are – prisons locking me away from enjoying the life Jesus died to give me. He said, “I came that they may have life and have it more abundantly.” John 10:10

Saint Paul spoke about Christians spreading the fragrance of Christ to the world. That’s what I want, I want to wallow in His love so that I spread a sweet odor to those around me. Lord, show me how to spread Your fragrance and not roll in smelly stuff. Amen

The Me You Meant Me to Be

Years ago Moody Radio had a nationwide contest to write a psalm for Thanksgiving. I was blessed to be one of those chosen to have my psalm read on air on Thanksgiving Day. This is that psalm:

The Me You Meant Me to Be

By Jill Krueger Wagner

I glorify your name, Yahweh

I praise You for Your goodness and wisdom

Since my conception You’ve been shaping me into Your image

But fool that I am, I fought You for many years.

Blind to Your purposes, I resisted Your Ways

How ignorant for the clay to tell the potter how to do His work!

But, praise to Your name,

You showed me the way to true happiness.

Why did I cling to my sin?

Why?

I hated the person I’d become,

Yet I tenaciously clung to what I knew,

Miserable as I was.

Oh my God, how can I ever thank You for the work You’ve done in my life

Bitterness and anger were the gifts I brought.

You gave me love and peace in exchange.

Then I brought a proud look and self-righteousness

And You gave me Your own humility and sinlessness

Every dirty gift I’ve given You,

You’ve dipped in Your blood and declared it clean.

I’m not worthy of the love You’ve poured out upon me,

But still, You declare I am because of Your own loving kindness.

There has been no end to the gifts You’ve bestowed upon me,

But the one I cherish the most is the growing respect that has developed towards

The person I am becoming.

You have shown me that I am Your unique creation.

You are making me into a vessel that is fit for the Master’s use.

I’m not complete, yet, but it’s exciting to see Your work,

To be able to look forward to what I shall become,

Instead of backward at what I wish I was.

My heart fills with love for You, Lord.

Make me, mold me

Into the me You meant me to be.

Chosen by Jill Krueger Wagner

I wasn’t chosen as a child. I had deep wounds from the times on the playground or gym when sides were being selected. I was usually one of the last ones picked. But one day I finally asked God, “Where would You when I wasn’t being chosen?” I heard that still sweet whisper Christians know is God’s lovely voice replying, “I was right there saying, ‘Jill, I want you for my team.’” Since that day Scriptures that speak of choices have held a special place in my heart.

Here are some of my personal favorites. Read over them and, if you like, let me know in the comments what you learned.

You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit… John 15:16

For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In  love he predestined us to be adopted as his son, through Jesus Christ… Ephesians 1:4,5a

…because from the beginning God chose you to be saved through the sanctifying work of the Spirit and through belief in the truth. 2 Thessalonians 2:13

Blessed is the nation whose God is the LORD, the people he chose for his inheritance. Psalm 33:12

Now choose life so that you and your children by live. Deuteronomy 30:19b

…choose for yourselves this day who you will serve… Joshua 24:15

Choose my instruction instead of silver, knowledge rather than choice gold. Proverbs 8:10

How much better to get wisdom than gold, to choose understanding rather than silver. Proverbs 16:16

…No one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and those to whom the Son chooses to reveal him. Matthew 11:27b + Luke 10:22b

If anyone chooses to do God’s will, he will find out whether my teaching comes from God or whether I speak on my own. John 7:17

But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God choose the weak things of the world to shame the strong; He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things – the things that are not – to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before Him. 1 Corinthians 1:27-29

Married Over 50 Years

By Jill Krueger Wagner

When young couples discover that my husband and I have been married over 50 years they often want to know the secret to a long marriage. I often laugh inwardly. In truth there were times when each of us considered divorce and our home felt like a battleground. There is no “secret,” but there are habits that make a marriage long-lasting and S.A.F.E., too.

Speak truth lovingly

Your mate will have habits and do things that irritate you. He isn’t perfect but just remember neither are you. If you want him to extend grace to you for your failings, do the same for him. This does not mean that we turn a blind eye to disrespect – God does not expect you to be a doormat. He gave you a brain, He expects you to use it and “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” You and your husband will sharpen one another as you work through disagreements in a loving way, accepting each other at the core level while gently pointing out faults you each need to work through to be like Christ. And to be like Christ you need to know Him and His Word. Read your Bible consistently. You will be amazed at the good advice found there, like in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. Make it your goal to love like that and watch your tongue – it can be a deadly poison to your marriage, James 3:8.

Accept one another

Many times I’ve heard the saying that God loves us where we are but He loves us too much to let us stay where we are. In order to be like Christ, we must accept our husbands, faults and all. We speak truth lovingly but it’s a pipedream to think that he is going to miraculously change a bad habit. Some of his bad habits may stem from long held pain. I think this is when we can turn into nags. Instead of “once again” bringing up his faults, ask God to remind him of what you’ve said and to use others to spur him on to change and pray. I once heard someone on the radio ask a woman “if your husband became wheelchair bound would you stand by him?” She answered in the affirmative. Then he went on to explain that some hurts are as crippling as a broken back and to encourage her to love him, anyway.

Forgive

Ruth Bell Graham often said, “A good marriage is made up of two good forgivers.” YES!

You will have reasons to resent one another. We can all be thoughtless. When your mate does something that hurts your feelings, you have a choice to make. Will you “make them pay” or give them forgiveness? Be like Jesus and forgive. It is God’s commandment. Read Matthew 18:21-35 and remember we ask God to forgive as we forgiven (Matthew 6:12).

An excellent book on forgiveness is “The Art of Forgiveness” By Lewis B. Smedes.

Encourage

Life is tough and we often look at it only from our perspective. Be open to others who can show you what you may miss. An attitude adjustment can be found it unlikely places. When I was resenting Ray, I had a friend visit from out of town. I was dumbfounded when she told me I was lucky to have a man like Ray. When I asked her why she thought so, she explained that she had been married three times and was presently just living with a man and none of those men chose to financially support the family. To say I was stunned is a gross understatement. It never occurred to me that Ray wouldn’t support his family but there are plenty of men who don’t.

I was blessed to have a Pastor who had no trouble pointing out to me that I didn’t consistently act like a good wife from a man’s point of view. I lacked encouragement towards him so Ray sometimes felt that he was nothing more than a paycheck to the family. Pastor Diggs urged me to ask what was going on at work when he was in a foul mood. I was amazed at the correlation between work issues and his mood. As a good man who cared to support us, he couldn’t just walk away when work was tough – the bills still needed to be paid.

As I read over this blog, I can’t help but feel a bit of conviction because, although these are my desires, I don’t always live up to my own expectations for myself. Thankfully, I’m married to a man who accepts his very flawed wife.

Honor, Integrity, and Commitment. By Jill Krueger Wagner

What do you think of when you read those words?  What does it mean to display honor, integrity, and commitment?

I think of a quote by D.L. Moody. He said, “Character is what you are in the dark.” People with honor, integrity, and commitment show character all the time even in the dark and when nobody is watching. But in today’s world the world is watching (and judging) every little thing.

When an honorable person knows that doing the right thing will result in pain for themselves, they do it anyway. That isn’t easy. There is such a temptation to take the comfortable way. Most of us have given in to follow “the broad path that leads to destruction” a time or two. We want to do the right thing but we can shove our noble desires down and let our thoughts of self-preservation reign. Does that mean we lack honor or does it just mean we are flawed people who sometimes chose survival over doing the right thing. I can clearly hear Jesus saying, “The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.”

All this came to mind today when I read about Naomi Osaka bulking at honoring her contract to talk to the media. On one hand my heart breaks for her. We all know how depression has resulted in tragedy for those who struggle with it – it is not something to be taken lightly. Self-image takes an awful hit when depressed. We also know that the news media can be a brutal, nasty group. I wonder doesn’t her media representative prepare her ahead of time with probable questions and prep her with good answers?  Yet, in a society governed by law, shouldn’t the question of being able to handle horrible media be addressed before signing a contract that requires it?

Furthermore, if we want more civility from our news media, shouldn’t we demand it? Too often news people ask questions, not looking for answers, as Talbot Davis says, but “to gain an advantage.”  They won’t change unless the public demands a change. We need to contact those giving the media a bad name, causing undo stress on players, and require them to be respectful.

Overcoming Parental Guilt by Jill Krueger Wagner

I still remember when years ago someone said to me, “Motherhood is just one big guilt trip.” We were young mamas and I didn’t agree at the time. There were indeed times when guilt overwhelmed me, like when Brandon complained he hurt his shoulder in a neighborhood baseball game and I thought he was overacting. Two days later a friend picked him up and caused him to cry. Finally I took him to the doctor and with one look the nurse pronounced that he obviously had a dislocated shoulder. Yep – that caused me lots of guilt.

Then there were times of overreaction to behavior – ranting and screaming in which the response didn’t fit the offense. Times when stress crashed in on me and I became unreasonable taking it out on the kids. Yes, there were times of guilt but my Mom, Dad and Jesus have taught me how to handle those.

Mom taught me through this great saying, “There was only one perfect person that ever walking this earth and they crucified Him.” The message I heard loud and clear was you won’t be a perfect parent so give yourself some grace. Learn from your mistakes.

Dad taught me what to do after you blew it as a parent. He had falsely accused me of doing something but then he discovered the truth. He immediately came to me, humbly asked my forgiveness, and tried to right the wrong. My estimation of him went up tenfold that day. I know some parents don’t think you should apologize to children but, honestly, kids aren’t stupid – they know when you’ve blown it. Fess up, ask their forgiveness. Admit your mistakes.

Jesus taught me that “love covers a multitude of sins” 1 Peter 4:8 and “If we confess our sins, he’s faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us of all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9 And He points us to apply Philippians 4:8 to our kids. It’s too easy as a parent to focus on our kid’s negative behavior instead of looking at what is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, or praiseworthy in the person Jesus created them to be. If we read our Bibles consistently and stay close to Jesus, He’ll train us in the way we should go as parents so we can train them. Ask Jesus to show you how to overcome your mistakes.

My youngest is now 42 and my oldest 56 and I clearly see how some mistakes I made in raising all four of them negatively impacted them. I could beat myself up over that (and truthfully occasionally do) but there is nothing I can do to right those wrongs. I’ve confessed to them how I wish I’d done some things differently and they’ve graciously forgiven me so now there is only one thing left to do. I need to forgive myself for past mistakes.

When the going gets tough, the tough get going! By Jill Krueger Wagner

Being a mom is one of the toughest jobs in the world. If, as little girls, we dreamed of one day being a mom, I doubt any of us dreamed of how we’d handle public meltdowns, being in a constant state of exhaustion, disagreements with our spouse over discipline, and handling constant sibling rivalry. (See

http://redeemedmoments.blogspot.com/2020/04/gods-fight-school-by-jill-krueger-wagner.html

for my thoughts on that.) We thought of cuddling our babies, hearing them express their love for us, and showing them off in adorable little outfits when young and bragging about their achievements as they got older. Alas whoever first said motherhood was a thankless job spoke the truth. UNTIL years later when those same children look around and see how they benefitted from having a wise, loving mom as compared to those who were not as blessed. In our society that wants instant everything, it’s hard to wait decades for a reward but I can tell you, it’s worth it. Keep on keeping on mama, don’t give up. You can do this. They are worth your investment. Your ROI will come.

Take those babies to church and teach them to “love one another.” Have them memorize Bible verses that will be a benefit to them when they are tempted to do something that will compromise their integrity and make them “less.” Read your Bible so you may “grow daily in the knowledge and love of the Lord,” so that you are wise in the way you raise them and how you treat their father. Reading God’s Word allows you to hear the voice of the Lord speaking through His written Word. He is the absolute best counselor on how to train your children. When kids act up sometimes they need discipline and sometimes they need a listening ear, a hug, and some guidance on a better way to handle their frustrations. Pray for your guidance, pray for them and with them. There are unseen forces who want to destroy their lives – stand between them and those forces

You’ve got this mama. It may be hard but you must, “never give up, never give up, never, never, never give up!”

Love Even That Neighbor By Jill Krueger Wagner

In the parable of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:25-37), Jesus showed that your neighbor wasn’t just someone who lived in your vicinity but anyone brought into your life through circumstances. So not only your immediate neighbors but also coworkers, fellow Sunday school attenders, Facebook friends, restaurant servers, etc.

I feel great conviction about my wrong attitude when I realize that I’m to love even those who possess the character qualities that I personally find annoying. Instead, I want to rant to my husband and my best friend about their very exasperating behavior.

I know what love is according to 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, yet I don’t want to apply it to this person who simply rubs me the wrong way. Yet God wants me to love her because He loves her and His requirements are clearly spelled out in Roman’s 12:10 where it says, “Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.”

So I’m asking today if you will pray for me to love one I consider grating and, if you need me to do the same for you, feel free to let me know here or send me a personal message.