Overcoming Parental Guilt by Jill Krueger Wagner

I still remember when years ago someone said to me, “Motherhood is just one big guilt trip.” We were young mamas and I didn’t agree at the time. There were indeed times when guilt overwhelmed me, like when Brandon complained he hurt his shoulder in a neighborhood baseball game and I thought he was overacting. Two days later a friend picked him up and caused him to cry. Finally I took him to the doctor and with one look the nurse pronounced that he obviously had a dislocated shoulder. Yep – that caused me lots of guilt.

Then there were times of overreaction to behavior – ranting and screaming in which the response didn’t fit the offense. Times when stress crashed in on me and I became unreasonable taking it out on the kids. Yes, there were times of guilt but my Mom, Dad and Jesus have taught me how to handle those.

Mom taught me through this great saying, “There was only one perfect person that ever walking this earth and they crucified Him.” The message I heard loud and clear was you won’t be a perfect parent so give yourself some grace. Learn from your mistakes.

Dad taught me what to do after you blew it as a parent. He had falsely accused me of doing something but then he discovered the truth. He immediately came to me, humbly asked my forgiveness, and tried to right the wrong. My estimation of him went up tenfold that day. I know some parents don’t think you should apologize to children but, honestly, kids aren’t stupid – they know when you’ve blown it. Fess up, ask their forgiveness. Admit your mistakes.

Jesus taught me that “love covers a multitude of sins” 1 Peter 4:8 and “If we confess our sins, he’s faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us of all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9 And He points us to apply Philippians 4:8 to our kids. It’s too easy as a parent to focus on our kid’s negative behavior instead of looking at what is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, or praiseworthy in the person Jesus created them to be. If we read our Bibles consistently and stay close to Jesus, He’ll train us in the way we should go as parents so we can train them. Ask Jesus to show you how to overcome your mistakes.

My youngest is now 42 and my oldest 56 and I clearly see how some mistakes I made in raising all four of them negatively impacted them. I could beat myself up over that (and truthfully occasionally do) but there is nothing I can do to right those wrongs. I’ve confessed to them how I wish I’d done some things differently and they’ve graciously forgiven me so now there is only one thing left to do. I need to forgive myself for past mistakes.

When the going gets tough, the tough get going! By Jill Krueger Wagner

Being a mom is one of the toughest jobs in the world. If, as little girls, we dreamed of one day being a mom, I doubt any of us dreamed of how we’d handle public meltdowns, being in a constant state of exhaustion, disagreements with our spouse over discipline, and handling constant sibling rivalry. (See

http://redeemedmoments.blogspot.com/2020/04/gods-fight-school-by-jill-krueger-wagner.html

for my thoughts on that.) We thought of cuddling our babies, hearing them express their love for us, and showing them off in adorable little outfits when young and bragging about their achievements as they got older. Alas whoever first said motherhood was a thankless job spoke the truth. UNTIL years later when those same children look around and see how they benefitted from having a wise, loving mom as compared to those who were not as blessed. In our society that wants instant everything, it’s hard to wait decades for a reward but I can tell you, it’s worth it. Keep on keeping on mama, don’t give up. You can do this. They are worth your investment. Your ROI will come.

Take those babies to church and teach them to “love one another.” Have them memorize Bible verses that will be a benefit to them when they are tempted to do something that will compromise their integrity and make them “less.” Read your Bible so you may “grow daily in the knowledge and love of the Lord,” so that you are wise in the way you raise them and how you treat their father. Reading God’s Word allows you to hear the voice of the Lord speaking through His written Word. He is the absolute best counselor on how to train your children. When kids act up sometimes they need discipline and sometimes they need a listening ear, a hug, and some guidance on a better way to handle their frustrations. Pray for your guidance, pray for them and with them. There are unseen forces who want to destroy their lives – stand between them and those forces

You’ve got this mama. It may be hard but you must, “never give up, never give up, never, never, never give up!”

Love Even That Neighbor By Jill Krueger Wagner

In the parable of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:25-37), Jesus showed that your neighbor wasn’t just someone who lived in your vicinity but anyone brought into your life through circumstances. So not only your immediate neighbors but also coworkers, fellow Sunday school attenders, Facebook friends, restaurant servers, etc.

I feel great conviction about my wrong attitude when I realize that I’m to love even those who possess the character qualities that I personally find annoying. Instead, I want to rant to my husband and my best friend about their very exasperating behavior.

I know what love is according to 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, yet I don’t want to apply it to this person who simply rubs me the wrong way. Yet God wants me to love her because He loves her and His requirements are clearly spelled out in Roman’s 12:10 where it says, “Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.”

So I’m asking today if you will pray for me to love one I consider grating and, if you need me to do the same for you, feel free to let me know here or send me a personal message.